Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
