I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
