we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
