A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
