Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry shakemedown2716 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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(212): View more from New York

i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

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(585): View more from New York

My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.

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