Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
