well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
