Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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