i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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