Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
