i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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