I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
