No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
my poor anus
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
