I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
