His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize