just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
