My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
