Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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