the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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