wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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