I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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