i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
