ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
