yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
