he thought i was a dude.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
