he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize