And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
