watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
