Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
