you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
