when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
