i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
