My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
