I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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