When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fill condoms, not promises.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
