please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
