We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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