East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
