I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
