oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
