Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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