i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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