things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
