As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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