Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
