I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
