its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
