Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
