it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
