There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
