please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
