my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Randomize
