just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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