You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
