great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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