its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize