I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
