Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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