Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize