I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
