physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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