I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
