i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm really busy with my period
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