first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
